are influencers to blame for overconsumption?

I’m about to make the most obvious statement here: the longer I stay away from social media, the less I desire new stuff. I still love to shop and I have pieces I want to add to my wardrobe here and home decor I want to add over there and a little something that’s missing from my hosting drawer but I’m not feeling like I need to recreate CBK’s looks (which, by the way, I can only imagine what TikTok and Instagram look like right now if I’m hearing about her offline). I’m not feeling like I need an entire new wardrobe for spring. I’m not wanting that dress in that haul or those shoes from that post. I don’t even know they exist. I don’t even know what I’m missing! This blissful unawareness is almost refreshing and honestly, kind of foreign.

I also think that it would be naive of me to think that this is solely tied to giving up social media for lent. Over the last year I’ve been very intentional about what I buy: natural fibers only, colors that are within my palette, pieces I actually have a place to wear them to, etc. I also find that my house has kept me somewhat grounded. I’ve lived here for almost 12 years and really haven’t made any changes. It’s an old farmhouse. The cabinets were outdated when we bought it and they still are, the countertops in the kitchen are mismatched, there’s even paint chipping off of one of the walls in my dining room, but it’s home and it doesn’t change when the trends do. It’s also made me really think about what I actually like and not what’s trending. There are things I wanted to do in the past that, looking back, I’m so glad I didn’t because what.

I’m not super old… I’ll be 30 this year so for some of you I’m just getting started and for others I’m already ancient BUT when I was a kid (back in my day) we went school shopping once a year and that was the only time we got new clothes. I got ONE pair of shoes for the entire year. ONE. We had a budget of like $100 for the year. If we grew out of our old winter coat we got a new one but we didn’t get a new one because it was cool or trendy or we just wanted it and that winter coat had to double as your dress-up coat, your snowmobile jacket, your school jacket, all of it was one piece. Even now I feel so out of touch to that life, one pair of shoes? Please. But that was the reality. If I wanted a new sweater or cute boots I asked for them for Christmas or for my birthday and even then, if I got them, that was the present. I don’t remember feeling like I was lacking or that I needed more clothes or even being bored with what I had (and yes, as I’ve gotten older I’ve really gotten into fashion and it’s become a hobby of mine so I know that has a lot to do with it also). I really can’t imagine what it’s like being a teenager now with TikTok hauls and Instagram try-ons and to be a parent of a teenager today… Godspeed.

Now let me be clear, I don’t think it’s necessarily the influencer’s fault, they’re just the machine being driven by something much larger. They’re being gifted free stuff constantly (you’re lying if you’re telling me you don’t like free stuff). Multiple packages are showing up daily and they’re grateful, they obviously want to share with their audience and thank the brand, they want to maintain that relationship, and they probably like or even love a lot of what the brand has sent over! It’s hard not to share when you’re excited. Then there’s the elephant in the room, this is literally their job. Girl’s gotta eat. I don’t believe they’re sharing with some sort of malicious intent to embrace overconsumption and make you go broke.

There’s also the aspiring influencers. They’re purchasing a lot of items because they think that’s what they have to do to stay relevant with their audience and they’re hopeful the brand will notice. A sort of fake it ‘til you make it approach.

It’s an interesting time we’re living in and I don’t really think I’ve ever stepped back to really think about it until literally right now. It just hit me, remembering that I only bought clothes once a year not that long ago and the whole one pair of shoes thing… wow. Flashback to my wedding in 2018 (again, not that long ago), I didn’t buy a new dress for my bridal shower or my bachelorette party, I didn’t feel like I needed to (until I saw an influencer purchased a new dress for her bridal shower and suddenly I felt like I should have done that). Oh, speaking of my bachelorette party, it was one night in a city close to home and 10 girls shared one hotel room. It wasn’t some grand production and I still had so much fun and felt really loved. I’m not here to villainize a grand production, in fact I actually love hosting a beautiful event with colors that coordinate and a dress code, but I want to let you know it’s okay if you don’t have one (even if TikTok makes you feel like you should).

You know the whole frog in boiling water analogy? If you put a frog in boiling water it’ll jump out but if you put a frog in water and slowly bring it to a boil it’ll cook? I feel like that’s what’s happened with consumption. Imagine telling a normal, average income person from the Midwest in the early 2000s that they would constantly be buying new clothes and new home decor and they’d have to take multiple days of PTO to attend bachelorette parties and weddings. They’d reject that right away. But slowly overtime we’ve introduced some new seasonal pieces for your closet here and some cute little pumpkins as home decor over there and an overnight bachelorette party for one of the girls when, before you realize what’s even happened, all of a sudden it’s turned into a new wardrobe and a complete home makeover every season plus an entire weekend dedicated to bachelorette activities complete with a dress code and an itinerary. I’m standing here looking around asking myself how we even got here??

Are influencers to blame? Only as much as we are to blame as consumers.