social media and the need to create

It’s been almost a month since I’ve opened any of the social media apps that I had previously spent numerous hours on whether it be for creation, consumption, or both (don’t worry, this isn’t a holier than thou, you should delete all of your social media apps post). I don’t think that I had a toxic relationship with social media, I could easily leave my phone at home or put it down and engage with those in front of me, it was more out of habit to be scrolling TikTok when I had free time, posting the thought that just popped into my head on my Instagram Story, opening Facebook to browse, etc. but I wanted to make sure my theory of I can quit anytime I want (says every addict) was correct so I decided to give it all up for lent. While I’ve thoroughly enjoyed being so blissfully out of the loop there’s one thing I am missing — creation.

Obviously it would be wildly inaccurate to say that without social media there wouldn’t be a reason to create because creativity and the need to create have been around for hundreds of years but in this digital world, I do find it hard to put energy and effort into creating something beautiful if I can’t share it in some way shape or form. I’m not an author or a painter or chef or scrapbooker — my creativity doesn’t come from something I do with my hands. I’m a photographer (and an amateur videographer but very very amateur, a more accurate description would be to say that I take videos, I don’t think I’m quite deserving of the title). My point is that most of what I do is digital and lately my creations are feeling wasted because they sit in a folder on my phone or computer and never really see the light of day.

Maybe that’s shallow or a need for validation or something even worse but isn’t sharing kind of the point of creativity? Sure it’s an outlet and it’s therapeutic but I doubt authors write books in hopes that nobody would ever read them or that designers sketch collections they hope never see the light of day or that potters create pieces they hope nobody ever sees or chefs make food they hope never gets tasted. Even if someone creates something they hope another soul never catches a glimpse of — they still have a desire that if someone were to see it, they would tell them that it’s good. They want someone to tell them they see it. The joy, the pain, the beauty, the frustration, the light, the dark, everything they’ve poured into this creation. Isn’t that what we do as bloggers? We’re writing articles and sharing photos and posting videos of the things we’re experiencing and putting it out there for the world to see. Even the most cringe, embarrassing, pour your soul out post that you do kind of hope nobody sees but for some reason you post it anyway because if it did blow up (in the right way), you’d be proud to have created something that resonated with so many people.

Yes, I can create something I love and share it with my circle. But why does that feel so weird? Like hey look what I made… vs posting something on the internet for literally everyone to see if they want to. There’s an underlying pressure to react a certain way if you’re being shown someone’s art in person in front of them and I don’t even want my husband to feel like he has to validate something I created just because I created it, let alone close friends or family members. Maybe they’ll like what they see or maybe they won’t. Maybe they’ll understand it, maybe they won’t, but they’ll feel this pressure to get it. The beautiful thing about the internet and social media is the opportunity to connect with so many people who just get it. How refreshing to find a corner of the internet who loves the same type of art that you do. To find those who see what you see and appreciate the things you share. To watch a video that explains exactly what you’re thinking or read an article that describes exactly how you feel.

So while I am enjoying what I’ve got going on right now I do wonder what I will do when lent comes to an end. I know I don’t want to go back to mindless scrolling, it actually bothers me when I hear/see other people do it. It truly sickens me (probably because I’m looking in a mirror). I don’t foresee myself giving it all up though, I truly love to create and share what I’ve created. I love engaging with my audience and following other creators. I know I won’t give it up completely, especially from a business standpoint, that wouldn’t be smart, but from a personal space I really don’t know how I want to move forward. My thoughts around it all have changed so much.

I still believe social media can be a positive space if you make it one and damn do some of these apps make you work hard to make it one, too. But isn’t that why we love Substack so much? It hasn’t been touched and tainted by everything we don’t like in the other apps. There are no politics in my Substack feed and I love that (I realize it’s my job as a voting citizen to stay informed but I don’t need the information coming at me from every angle). There’s no drama on my Substack feed. There’s nobody telling me I need to buy this or that on my Substack. My feed is littered with girly articles full of fashion tips and hosting and classic literature and photography and cooking and analog hobbies and relationships and Jesus and I truly love it all so much. It fills me up and I feel like I’m learning so much. If I don’t like something, I don’t engage, and Substack listens and never shows it to me again. I love it. It’s the same way I felt when I discovered Pinterest or Instagram or TikTok. Something new and exciting and a place for me to share my life and make it art.

The real question I now face is how can I go back to creating and not scrolling? Obviously there’s a way but man is that a vicious cycle and is it worth it? Is the creation worth the possibility of mindless scrolling? I consider myself to be a disciplined person but how disciplined am I really? Can I engage with other creators without getting sucked in? Can I check notifications and respond to comments without getting lost in the scroll? These are, pathetically, real questions.

Anyone wanna start a creator’s club where we meet once a week and share the things we’ve been working on and/or created?