fasting social media for lent

I don’t even know why I’m writing about it, I hadn’t really planned to even tell anyone that I was doing this because I didn’t want it to be a whole thing where people thought I thought I was better than them or holier than thou or whatever and I also wanted to ultimately keep it between God and I but I don’t know I’m kind of excited about it and I kind of treat this spot as my own personal journal so I figured I would share that I’m doing it and how I’m preparing for it (preparing for it is literally so embarrassing to say). Also, sharing it makes it real and holds me accountable. I’m gonna have to walk the walk if I put it out there. PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!! See why I’m doing this? I’m chronically online.

In all seriousness though, this was actually kind of a difficult decision for me because I do generate an income from social media alone and from the leads it produces for my photography business. Being a wedding photographer giving up social media right in the midst of engagement season feels a bit like business suicide but I’m learning to lean into God and trust that this feeling I have to give it up is a good thing.

When I say social media I don’t mean all forms — I mean the apps I spend the most useless time on: TikTok and Instagram. I won’t be giving up Pinterest, Substack, or YouTube for multiple reasons but the biggest reasons being that I don’t view them as social media and I don’t use them in an unproductive way the way that I can get sucked into TikTok and Instagram. If I’m on Substack, I’m reading beautiful articles that are inspiring me or offering tangible advice. Pinterest is a visual heaven that continuously inspires me to notice my life and the beauty that’s literally sitting right in front of me, and YouTube feels more like TV at this point — it’s not an app I find myself mindlessly scrolling on to numb out and really I never use it.

I don’t want to make myself out to be some sort of social media addict, because I’m really not. I can be out with friends and not be on my phone, I have absolutely zero problems putting it down and/or away and I actually prefer that when I’m with people. I’m not the type to be scrolling while we’re having a conversation, I actually hate that. I do know that I waste a lot of time being on it when I’m alone though, it’s become an easy way for me to relax (hilarious because it’s not relaxing at all) and do nothing. So maybe that does make me an addict? I don’t know. All I know is that I’m not glued to my phone 24/7, I just use it as a way to avoid sitting with my own thoughts. I’m dying because that sounds so bad but you know what, it’s the truth so whatever. I’m excited to sit in silence and listen to my thoughts and actually talk to Jesus more. I know social media gets in the way of that and that’s embarrassing.

This decision to give social media up for lent comes almost a year after I deleted Snapchat — one of the best decisions of my life. Sometimes I cringe so hard that I was still using Snapchat at the ripe age of 28. A full on adult using SNAPCHAT? Please. Anyways — I used to be someone who hated missing out or being out of the loop and Snapchat really fed that, I wasn’t someone who was constantly checking the snap map or anything like that because that was always creepy to me but regardless Snapchat kept me in the loop with the most useless garbage and also made me feel like a total loser if I wasn’t with everyone on so and so’s story. I’m not joking when I say that ever since I deleted the app I have zero sense of FOMO. In fact, I actually enjoy missing out now, I don’t need to do something every single time I have free time. I’m allowed to just exist in my own home doing absolutely nothing (where I evidently scroll on social media to numb out but that’s why we’re doing this, to fix that!!).

To prepare for this I’ve already bought 3 books that I’m super excited to read (it’s literally taking everything in me to not start them now, should I just give up social media today and buy more books to get me through??? Just bought 2 more books so maybe I start now). I’m also planning to get further along in my chronological bible reading journey, I’ve never read the bible in its entirety and I want to change that. I’ve started looking into hobbies I’ve always wanted to try but haven’t dedicated the time to doing (I really wanna garden but that’s obviously not going to happen between the months of February and April in Minnesota so I want to sew… but I’m terrified… just placed an order for two dress sewing patterns guess we’re doing it, oh my God I’m so dumb I don’t even have a sewing machine, why did I just buy sewing patterns???). I’ve also already tested out the parameters I’m setting on my phone to ensure that I don’t go on the apps (sorry, I’m not buying a brick when I can give up social media for free), I don’t want to logout and delete the apps, I just want to lock myself out of them and the iPhone lets you do that. I think it’ll also be interesting to see how many times I click on the apps out of habit…

WAIT I literally just thought of something, should I get into scrapbooking??? Pinteresting on physical pages? I literally am the worst at scrapbooking, my hands refuse to create what my brain sees so I always get incredibly frustrated, but I do want to at least print my photos and put them in some sort of album, I’m a photographer and literally can’t remember the last time I had photos printed???

This blog post is also the only place I’ll be announcing my departure (I know, I know this isn’t an airport). As someone who’s actively trying to grow a following I really thought I would make a video on this and/or put in my bio something about being off of social media for lent but that felt icky to me after really thinking about it so come February 18th I’m just gonna dip out.

I’m ashamed to admit this but I haven’t given anything up for lent since I was in elementary school and even then I bet I didn’t stick with it, I think that’s why it’s exciting for me. I started a bible study last year and have really been working to strengthen my relationship with God so having this calling feels good. I’m feeling so inspired to just exist and cultivate a deeper relationship with Jesus while learning more about who I am offline. I’m excited to take pictures for no reason and write and try new things without getting the internet’s feedback and I’m excited to read for fun and to learn from a physical book and to not be flooded with political noise!!!

This post has got me FIRED UP! I’m literally so excited. Maybe I’ll just start today? Who even knows??? No I actually won’t because I’m still staging my exit in my brain (anyone else do this? Just me? Cool). It’s so funny because when I say that I treat this like a journal I mean it, you’re literally reading my thoughts unfold in real-time. Sure I edit here and there to make a little more digestible but ultimately these are my raw thoughts. Shared with you. How sweet. ANYYYWAAYSSS get ready to be SICKA ME because I’m sure I’ll be insufferable with my updates about how life is sooooo amazing without Instagram and TikTok.