how I jump off the hamster wheel of comparison
With how much self-development and mindset work I continuously do, you’d think this wouldn’t happen to me anymore (I mean, you’d at least think I wouldn’t have time for it considering I’m running two businesses) yet here I am — running the comparison wheel.
If I’m being completely honest with you, it’s been bad lately.
they’re so much further along
I couldn’t pull that off like she can
she’s so skinny
they look so happy
she’s booked so many weddings
her business is growing so fast
their house is so much nicer
they go on so many trips
she’s so much more talented
I’m not doing enough
they’re a much better leader
her grid is so perfectly curated
The list goes on and on.
Then — here’s the kicker — I feel so stupid because I KNOW this is just the comparison trap. I know it’s sabotage. I KNOW IT AND I STILL DO IT. Usually, I’m so good at recognizing and changing my mindset when it’s in an unhealthy spot but the comparison will get me every time.
Finally, the best part, I feel like such an imposter because I literally teach people how to avoid this trap (yet here I am). I legit have tears in my eyes right now because of how stupid this vicious cycle is. I guess we all struggle from time to time, huh.
If you struggle too, I feel you, and I want to share how I jump off the comparison hamster wheel:
STOP SCROLLING
Yep, we gotta stop the scroll game. If my mind is in a comparison state I can’t be mindlessly scrolling Instagram. If I’m using the app it’s to share content that I’ve created and use my dms. If I find myself getting lost in the scroll again, I put down the phone and walk away (usually I’ll jump in the shower to avoid it altogether).
JOURNAL
I make sure to spend a lot of intentional time journaling or blogging. The best self-development journals I’ve found are Unbothered and New Mindset, Who Dis? Sometimes making a post like this at 11pm on a Wednesday night even helps.
GET LOST IN THE SERVICE OF OTHERS
I think about how I can help other people — genuinely help. How can I better serve my team, customers, and clients? How can I better serve my husband? How can I be a better friend? How can I help my community? Then I go out and do it.
PRACTICE GRATITUDE
When I’m lost in the comparison game this one can be really hard because I’m so focused on what everyone else has that’s soooo much better rather than what I have. It’s necessary though so even if it takes me an hour, I’ll sit there and get it done.
FOCUS ON YOUR STORY
“Winners focus on winning, losers focus on winners.”
This quote gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME and typically just saying it out loud is enough for me to snap into action.
We’ll never discover our own talents and gifts if we’re too busy focusing on everyone else’s. We all have our own goals that we want to hit. We have to put our heads down and develop tunnel vision for writing our own stories.
CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
A scarcity mindset will kill you. Your scarcity mindset tells you that there’s a limit on success and happiness and for every happy successful person there is, it’s a little less happiness and success left for you. An abundance mindset knows there’s no limit on the success and happiness the world has to offer and someone else’s achievements are just proof that you can do it too. Instead of saying “she’s achieved it so I can’t,” change it to “she’s achieved it so it’s proof that I can too.” Change “why aren’t I further along,” to “how far can I go?”
REMEMBER SOCIAL MEDIA IS A HIGHLIGHT REEL
We know this but we don’t always know this. Nobody’s life is perfectly curated all of the time. We all get down. We all struggle. We all lock ourselves in a room just to cry sometimes. We all fight with our significant others. Even the most authentic person on social media doesn’t broadcast that as much as they broadcast the good. Just remember, we’re all human behind the perfect grid.
I know it’s easier said than done but I hope something in here helps you — even if it’s just knowing that you’re not alone. The last thing I’ll leave you with is this,
become so confident in who you are and what you bring to the table that comparison is the last thing you’re thinking about.
